The first day of Resignation
Posted by Subhendu on November 17, 2009
It was not meant to be easy.
A job is like a relation. You walk in because you need it, then you leave it when you feel you have better relations at stake. It is not a very great feeling and at heart you feel you could just continue. But there is a well known saying which someone used to say – If you are drinking water from a glass cup and it breaks, there is no use mending the cup. You better throw it away and use a new glass or you get hurt more with time.
I reached office. People around me greeted as usual. I opened my laptop, checked voicemails on my phone. As i screened the emails, i was looking at the PST where I had set rules in Outlook. The folder had 1 unread message and was highlighted in Bold Black. I waited, breathed a deep breath and then clicked open that email.
Nick, we will need to discuss.
I could hear my heartbeat thumping hard. It was the same person who had hired me 7 months back in the midst of recession into a Program Manager role. That time, if he would have asked me to be a developer, i might not have thought again before accepting. But now, things were different. Markets were improving. Atleast it seemed more so, because of the numerous emails I was getting from Monster.com. I went into a state of nostalgia.
I passed out of my B-School in Singapore in the midst of world greatest economic recession. Leave aside campus placements at sky rocketing salaries, even plain vanilla jobs were out of question. I had applied to over 200 consultants in India, UAE and Singapore. Not a buzz. Emails just were sent out from my mailbox and they never returned. When some of them finally did, they would all speak the same tone – Dear Nick, after careful consideration of your profile, we feel that we would not be able to provide you a job which would be in line with your expectations and our needs. We regret to state that we wont be able to provide employment to you right now. However, feel free to browse the site for future openings. Apply, apply, No reply was the message. It was not that jobs had dried up. It was just that the salaries had dried up. And I was not very keen in joining a job at a 50% pay cut to last years salary.
I was in a Navy Blue suit at the company office waiting for an interview with the Chief Technical Officer of the company. The suit had a story as well. It would have wished that I wear it everytime i appeared for an interview but then it had seen only guest lectures and no placements. Hard Luck.
My interview had been great and I was offered to join from the next Monday.
Strange coincidence, today is a Monday. And I have resigned.
After lunch at cafetaria, I saw the email with a calendar invite for my exit interview. How was I to enter into that room? I was feeling guilty as well as I saw it as lack of any other option. I wanted to leave this place. And there was no way I could have left the place without leaving the company. So I entered the room.
There was a cold greeting smile on the lips of my manager, the CTO of the company. What happened after was a nightmare. It seemed like a dream when it started with discussions on what I have done in the company and how the transition would happen and then it shifted gradually to why I wanted to leave. My manager was not at fault. I too was not. Some one else was at fault. But who? Right now, inside the room it was me and my manager and both were trying to find out what went wrong in just 7 months of joining. Somehow the duel ended. I walked out of the room, not satisfied, not happy but not guilty anymore. I heard a lot of things which I wish I never would have heard. But again, to err is human.
The day had already been eventful so I did not ask for more. I packed up for the day.
It was not even twilight when I rode my Pulsar 150 DTSI back home. The speedometer would have read 85 but who cares. I was speeding as if I wanted to escape. I was speeding as if I had to reach destination soon. When i opened up my apartment door, I was wishing it all as a dream and tried to wake up. But it was a reality. I had resigned and was going to be released in 29 more days.
Bigg Boss Season 3 came to rescue in the lone apartment. I looked at the ceiling. The fan kept on dissecting my vision. I grew tired and wanted to sleep. I could not..